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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24071344">Leave and don't come back</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/1Friendly_alien/pseuds/1Friendly_alien'>1Friendly_alien</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>the foxhole court</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Andrew Minyard Loves Neil Josten, Angst with a Happy Ending, Kissing, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Neil Josten Loves Andrew Minyard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 20:02:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,849</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24071344</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/1Friendly_alien/pseuds/1Friendly_alien</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>If there was one thing Andrew hated more than flying, that had to be Neil flying alone without him. Every time he would arrive hours before Neil was due to land and go through all the books and sweets the airport had to offer, just to distract himself. And today was even worse, since the damned flight was delayed with hours.</p>
<p>As he was exiting one of the shops with his small stack of books, a security man eyed him suspiciously. He pointed at the small bump on Andrew’s left arm guard. “What have you got there?” The man asked and stepped in Andrew’s way to the exit. Andrew smiled innocently. “I’m no shop lifter, sir. It’s just a knife.”  Needless to say the security man was not pleased.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>221</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Leave and don't come back</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>If there was one thing Andrew hated more than flying, that had to be Neil flying alone without him. Every time he would arrive hours before Neil was due to land and go through all the books and sweets the airport had to offer, just to distract himself. And today was even worse, since the damned flight was delayed with hours.</p>
<p>As he was exiting one of the shops with his small stack of books, a security man eyed him suspiciously. He pointed at the small bump on Andrew’s left arm guard. “What have you got there?” The man asked and stepped in Andrew’s way to the exit. Andrew smiled innocently. “I’m no shop lifter, sir. It’s just a knife.”  Needless to say the security man was not pleased.</p>
<p>Nor was his colleague, who sat across Andrew in the security office five minutes later. His arm guards were laid on the table between them, no knives, just a small velvet box. “Did you steal that from one of the jewelry stores?” The woman asked as she inspected the rings in it. Andrew rolled his eyes. “Yes, and before I took it and bolted I asked them nicely to engrave the inside of it.” Then he reached for his pocket and before the woman could stop him he put the recites on the table. “I also got this just in case he said no and I no longer needed it.” The woman studied the recites then looked back at Andrew. “So were you waiting for your fiancé-to be?” Andrew couldn’t wait for this conversation to be over. He supposed it was his own fault for taunting that security, but his idiot was so going to owe him for choosing to fly in the first place. “What flight is he on?” The security woman asked, when Andrew didn’t answer to her first question.  Finally, he relented. “From Palmetto, Florida. He’s due to land in two hours.”</p>
<p>Something passed through the woman’s eyes just then. She asked for Neil’s name, then excused herself and left Andrew alone for a while. When she came back her expression was grim. “I’m afraid there’s been an accident.” She began and Andrew felt the edges of his vision darken. He listened carefully as the woman explained that the plane had crashed about three hours ago. According to the report there were no survivors.</p>
<p>Andrew said nothing as he put his arm guards on and then tucked the velvet box safely in the left one. He couldn’t remember if someone tried to stop him, but a few minutes later he was speeding out of the underground parking lot, and he would have busted trough the barrier if some unknown worker hadn’t had the good sense to lift it in time. He heard his cell phone ring and threw it in the back sit, without checking the caller ID.</p>
<p>Andrew hadn’t meant to come back to their apartment. Sir was fed so there was no other reason for him not to get the hell out of town, but something brought him back there. He jammed the keys in the lock and walked in. He found Neil’s laptop and pulled up all news coverage of the crash he could find. “...a problem with the left engine “, “…remains of the plan scattered in 1 km radius”.  “No survivors”, “unfortunately there were no survivors”, “not all bodies identified… no survivors”.</p>
<p>Andrew slammed the laptop shut and went into the kitchen. He grabbed the bottle from the cupboard and kept himself from slamming it into the floor. Instead, he grabbed a random glass and threw it against the farther wall and it shattered into pieces. Sir meowed from somewhere behind him and hid under the couch. Andrew sat down on said couch and started drinking.</p>
<p>When the bottle was out, he threw it aside and went for another one. He felt so disconnected from his own actions it was like the news had punched him straight out of his physical form and now he was watching from the side as someone proceeded to smash every plate that he and Neil owned. Or maybe it was the opposite. Maybe hearing that Neil was gone had sunk him deep under the surface, from where he had no desire to resurface anytime soon. All Andrew could think about was the plane going down in flames.</p>
<p>Andrews had never passed out from drinking before. He couldn’t remember the last time he had let himself lose control like that. He realized he hadn’t locked the door, when he had come back the day before or even taken his shoes off. He was lying on their bed, fully dressed and was clutching one of Neil’s old worn out T-shirts. Andrew looked at it, and he felt all his anger flooding back in. He should have killed him, when he had the chance, should have let him run to his own death. He hated him. Andrew hated his eyes and wished he had never found out their true color. He hated his soft auburn hair, his calloused hands, and he hated himself even more for growing dependent on the feeling of them. Dependent on Neil’s warm and patience. </p>
<p>Patience. Fuck patience. Nothing in this pathetic world deserved a second glance. Fuck him for ever thinking he deserved someone, who cared about him. Fuck him for thinking he had moved on from his past. There was no past it was all just one big lifelong dumpster fire. And there was no future, because his future was dead.<br/>.      .      .      .</p>
<p>The next time Andrew woke up it was, because he heard the front door open. “Bloody hell.” A voice came from the kitchen. Andrew debated pulling out a knife, but when he reached in his arm guard, his fingers brushed against the small box, and he just closed his eyes again.</p>
<p>When the bedroom door opened however he couldn’t ignore it. He ignored the nausea that rose as he snapped upright and when his eyes cleared he saw Neil standing in the doorway. He looked absolutely shocked at whatever it was he saw in front of him. “Andrew, are you alright? What happened here? Are you hurt?” He took a tentative step forward and then another and Andrew didn’t back away. In fact Andrew lunged forward a moment later and wrapped his hands around Neil’s throat. He put no force into it. He couldn’t if he wanted to. Andrew just stared at Neil and when he felt the urge to squeeze the life out of him rise, he grabbed him by the shoulders and threw him on the bed.</p>
<p>“Andrew what’s going on? Do you want me to leave?” Neil asked, but didn’t move. Andrew sat beside him on the bed, but refused to look at him.</p>
<p>“You’re forgiven.” Andrew said softly. Neil stared at him in confusion, but Andrew continued. “I forgive you for leaving and getting on that flight. It wasn’t your fault.” Neil tried to get closer and see Andrew’s face, but his boyfriend only shook his head and continued to stare ahead. “That’s what I should say right. That’s what you’re here for. I say all this nonsense so when I wake up I don’t…” Andrew paused. “Please go away.” He whispered. “I can’t do this.”</p>
<p>Neil felt his heart sink. “Andrew, what are you talking about?”</p>
<p>Andrew was silent for a moment. “When I was five or six there was an old woman who worked in the group home. She smoked like a chimney and when she cooked she often mixed up the salt and the sugar, but she was quite possibly the only person, I don’t have bad memories of from back then.” Neil hugged his knees to his chest and listened. “Then she died. Shocker right? She told me one day that I was her favorite kid in the home, said I had spirit or something. She was nice to me - that was her mistake. Two weeks later she had a heart attack at work.” Neil wasn’t sure he’d ever heard Andrew talking about his past for this long, and he was worried what that might mean</p>
<p>“The night after they carried her out I had a dream. She was in it. I shouted at her and cursed her, because I hated her for dying. And every night for weeks that would happen over and over again. Then one night I stopped. I was sick at shouting at her. She smiled and told me that she had come to say goodbye and that I could hug her, because it was the last time we would see each other.”</p>
<p>“It was my sick brain’s way of coping. I said I forgive her and she went away.” When he finally turned around, Neil froze. Andrew was smiling at him. “I can’t do this, if it’s you. I forgive you for dying. Please, never come back here again. “</p>
<p>Neil shook his head desperately. “Andrew, I’m alive. I’m really here.” He tried to take hold of his boyfriend’s hand, but Andrew drew it away. “You died in a plane crash.”</p>
<p>“No, I did not! Andrew, listen to me, pl- listen to me.” Neil pulled on his bangs. “I missed my connection. Dan went into labor earlier than expected and Matt needed me there. Whatever happened to that flight, I wasn’t on it!”</p>
<p>Andrew stared at him. “I tried to call you.” Neil continued. “I called you a hundred times, but you didn’t pick up, so I rented a car and drove all night, because I thought something had happened to you. I am alright, I am right here.” Neil asked silently for Andrew’s hand again and this time Andrew let him take it. Then Neil brought it carefully to his chest and laid it over his heart. </p>
<p>The steady rhythm tethered  Andrew back to reality. “Yes or no?” He asked, while looking into Neil’s eyes. “Yes” Neil answered with a relieved smile. Andrew pulled him into a kiss and tried to forget every awful thought that had crossed his mind the last twenty-four hours.  Nothing could replicate the feeling of Neil pressed up against him, not even his own traitorous mind.</p>
<p>After what felt like hours the two of them collapsed on the bed together and Andrew pressed his ear to Neil’s chest and let his heartbeat soothe him. Neil stroked his hair then moved on to his neck and arms. When he reached the bump in Andrew’s arm guard he said nothing, just buried his nose in Andrew’s soft hair.</p>
<p>“Drew?” He spoke after a while. Andrew smiled against him. “Hm?”</p>
<p>“I love you. You know that, right?” Neil said quietly.</p>
<p>Andrew rose to his elbows above him to meet his eyes. “500%”</p>
<p>Neil closed his eyes and smiled, but he could feel Andrew’s eyes on him. Then there was some movement above him and when he opened his eyes to check, Andrew was holding a small velvet box with a pair of rings inside them.</p>
<p>“Yes or no?” Andrew asked.<br/>“Yes.” Neil answered. “It’s always yes with you.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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